(no subject)

[teambatgirl]

Nothing is so sweet as the days after school ends, never mind that school's optional or that Steph actually likes her classes nowadays. Vacation is still vacation, and it's awesome. She's determined to enjoy it. It doesn't matter if she's seeing Black Mask more and more every day or that Halloween's getting closer. Scared and maybe a little crazy isn't all she is, and Steph refuses to let the spectre of him ruin the good things.

But all that grit and stubbornness doesn't seem to persuade her unconscious mind, so nightmares. She's basically been elected mayor of Nightmare City the past few weeks, no matter how much meditation or clearing of the mind she does before bed. It sucks, but she's coping. Most nights she even manages to fall back asleep. But those early mornings when the sun's already started to come up by the time she sits up with a gasp Steph just throws in the towel and rolls out of bed.

Today's one of those days, and it was a bad one: Black Mask with his knives but this time she was strapped down to a hospital bed and the doctors were just standing there watching, like they knew she was bad, like she deserved it. But she's here and alive, screw you dream doctors, and she's totally earned to start the day with comfort carbs.

It's still relatively early when Steph comes back to her room, where Cass spends most nights now, with a big plate of waffles in hand. "Wakey wakey, my little black bat. I've come bearing delicious goodness," she says and sits on the edge of the bed, then spears a waffle and waves it tantalizingly in front of Cass's sleeping face. It might possibly be a little obnoxious.

Comments

[kinesicist]

A single eye cracked open, narrowed in sleepy displeasure before Cassandra's entire face scrunched up. Her mouth parted, yawning tiredly before batting the waffle away from her face. Her arm reached out for Steph's waist before she tugged her suddenly down onto the bed with her.

"Too early," Cass murmured, wanting to inhale Steph's hair and hold her close and not wanting to wake up just yet. "Come back to bed."

[teambatgirl]

The waffle wobbles on the fork and hits the bed but, miracle of miracles, lands butter-side up. She lets a little sound of surprise out as she's suddenly sprawled half on the bed half on Cass, but her awesome Batgirl balance skills keeps from upending the plate altogether.

"But I made waffles," she protests and picks up the one on the bed to take a bite out of it. "You don't want one?"

[kinesicist]

"Hn," Was all Cassandra said on that subject matter before she wriggled beneath the blankets and tugged them free from beneath Steph. Rescuing the plate of waffles, she placed them carefully in reach beside them before tugging the blanket over Steph. Reaching for her, Cass slid her arms around Steph and wriggled closer enjoying the peace. "Maybe."

Cass pressed a kiss against Steph's lips before turning her head and taking a small, inelegant bite of waffle.

"S'early." Cass murmured, yawning before pressing her naked body against Steph's content for the moment. "We don't have to get up yet, do we?"

[teambatgirl]

Steph rolls her eyes and heaves a tremendous, exaggerated sigh but lets herself be dragged under the blankets. There weren't many opportunities for lazing around during the school term thanks to her classes and Cass's vigilante activities.

"I suppose we don't have to get up," Stephhe says reluctantly but her fond smile gives her away as she curls in close to Cass. Then she leans in to take a bite of the waffle too. "Our busy schedule does allow for the occasional snuggle break."

[kinesicist]

"Not yet," Cass replied, lips softening and her smile brightening as Steph curled closer to her. Her hand reached, sliding beneath Steph's clothes and lingering at the small of her back. She tugged her close, breathing in the warmth and joy of Steph before kissing her softly. "You had nightmares again."

She slid her arms around her tighter, turning her lips towards the waffle before she broke a piece off and offered it to Steph. Content to lie here for a little while even if Bruce wouldn't have approved. "You should wake me when you do."

[teambatgirl]

"Who, me? Pshaw. Nightmares are for chumps." A quick little smile that's more reflex than anything else before smoothing her fingers along Cass's side in a steady, soothing touch. The bed still has that sleepy, cozy warmth and Steph wants to sink into it, wrap herself up in Cass girlfriend goodness like a shield so nothing can get in to infect her brain. She has to content herself with hugging her a little bit closer and taking a bite of waffle.

"One of us should get to sleep through the night. Don't really want to spread the misery around."

[kinesicist]

She turned her head, placing her lips against Steph's throat she moved her lips across her neck softly. Resting her head against her shoulders, Cass buried her face sleepily against Steph's neck and held her girlfriend close. She was content to lie here a little while longer.

"I don't need sleep," Cass murmured just as stubborn as Bruce would have been. "Wake me, you shouldn't be alone. This is a partnership. We should... share it."

[teambatgirl]

"You do need sleep, don't try to play that unmovable wall of justice thing." She reaches for Cass's hand and threads their fingers together even though just talking about any of this makes her stomach hurt like there's a spikey ball of misery and dread weighing her down. It sucks. All of it sucks. Her voice this time is smaller, reluctant. "I don't want to subject you to him. I don't- ugh. Want you to have to hear them. And what if talking about them makes it worse?"

[kinesicist]

"I'm an unmovable wall of justice?" Cass asked, lips turning slightly up at the corner. Her hands, her fingers threaded through Steph's and she tugged them up to her lips. Presing a soft kiss against them, she moved closer and tangled a leg with Steph's. "We're a team. You are my partner, I want you to share it with me. Share the burden. You don't have to be alone, I don't want you to be alone Steph."

[teambatgirl]

"You're not but you like to pretend to be." Steph offers a little smile and squeezed Cass's hand before heaving a sigh.

"Okay. If you want to hear about them, well. Okay. Just-" She glances away for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Don't look at me different afterwards. Don't look at me like I'm a victim."

[kinesicist]

"I learned from the best," Cass replied, tugging Steph's hand onto her shoulder before she let go to touch her cheek softly. Cass waited patiently for her to look at her, her jaw and lips clenched together in tight resolve. "I... I want you to not feel like you have to be alone in this. It is your fear, your nightmare but you do not have to face it alone. Not when I can help, not when others can."

Cass shook her head. She had never thought of her as a victim or someone weak, lacking skill and strength compared to her but not weak in resolve or spirit. She was Batgirl, she wasn't a victim.

[teambatgirl]

"Yeah because he's someone you should take personal life cues from," Steph said wryly because, yes, making fun of Bruce will never get old, even in times of distress.

"He just-" She's looking down again and her heart's b eating faster. "If it were just- I know you could take him. You're amazing. And I know I should be able to. But I'm clearly the weak link. That's the whole point the first time, wasn't it?" The words are coming out faster now, like they were all stoppered up inside her. "I'm the chink in the armor, because everyone else would have been rescued or got out or fought harder. Like, seriously? Batman gets captured by a villain who tries to torture him, that happens like twice a week. And what if I'm not actually any better than I was?"

[kinesicist]

"No, not necessarily. Shiva killed me, she is my... I couldn't stop her. She killed me and she chose to bring me back." Cass replied simply, stretching towards Steph. Cass was alive because her mother, because the assassin sensed she had lost hope and wanted more from her. Or maybe she did truly care. Cass knew what Shiva wanted, she also knew she couldn't give it to her not ever. "I would be dead if not for that choice. There was no one to rescue me and I fought as hard as I could but it was not enough, sometimes it isn't but that is why I train. It is why you will train every day so that when he comes you will be ready for him."

Cass reached for Steph, placing her fingertip gently beneath her chin before tilting her head up slightly. Her gaze was stern, her jaw tense as she looked at her partner at Batgirl rather than Stephanie her girlfriend. "You are better than what you were. You were Spoiler, you outgrew her. You were Robin, you outgrew that. You are Batgirl, you will destroy him. You are better."

[teambatgirl]

Steph takes a shuddering breath but nods and forces herself to meet Cass's eyes. Be brave, be Batgirl. It's harder than it should be to find that strong place, even now she can feel herself wavering.

"Right," she says and gives another nod. he's so tired, and he's chipping away at her safe spaces, first around the island and then in her brain. But Black Mask knocked her down once, and she got back up. She can do it again.

"Can I- do you want to hear something really awful? Like- do you want to hear the really worst thing?"

[kinesicist]

"I mean it," Cass replied forcing the feeling and emphasis into her words. She was one of the strongest of them, she was Batgirl and Cass trusted her, loved her. She was strength, she just didn't realise that. And he was trying to make her weak. Cass wouldn't allow that.

"Yes, tell me." Cass replied looking at Steph calm and serious.

[teambatgirl]

"I have this dream-" Her jaw works for a moment before she keeps going. "Where he's got me chained down except this time I'm- pregnant. I'm pregnant and he's going to cut it out of me. He's going to cut her out and-" She can't say it not even to Cass, she can't even think it. "He's going to do it and before he kills me I'm going to have to watch."

[kinesicist]

"He isn't, he won't. You won't let him, you won't let him hurt anyone or you. And I won't either, he won't hurt anyone I promise." Cass murmured, touching the end of Steph's hair before brushing it back. Leaning forward she brushed her lips against Steph's and pressed her forehead against hers. "The island is trying to hurt you, to scare you but you are stronger."

[teambatgirl]

"Not when I'm asleep. Then I'm the same dumb kid I ever was," Steph says but she huffs a little breath and seems to relax. As hard as it is to talk about there's a relief too as though the place it had been lodged in her chest has loosened. It's a little smaller when it's said aloud, Voldemort-style.

She reaches for Cass and octopus-cuddles her with arms and legs curled around her. "If we make to November 1st intact, I am going to sleep for a week."

[kinesicist]

"Hn, you mean you're not still a kid?" Cass asked lightly, exhaling a softer breath and smiling almost against Steph's lips as she presses a kiss to them. Cass relaxed into the hold, reaching for the plate and placing it down out of the way before she rolled Steph beneath her. Bending down to kiss her, Cass nodded at her statement. "I will... I could take a break. A small one. For you."

Which was almost an impossible idea to believe.

[teambatgirl]

"I like to think I've gained at least a smidgen of wisdom over the past few years," she says dryly but kisses her back and lets out a pleased hum when Cass settles over her. There's a second of regret for all those perfectly golden waffles that will go cold but this is more important to her sanity than breakfast foods. "You're sweet." Steph smiles up at her and skims her thumb along Cass's cheekbone. "Maybe we'll both need a mini vacation. Or maybe I'll need you to wait on me hand and foot, you'll have to do your best Alfred impression."

[kinesicist]

"I do not think Alfred would look as good in a bikini," Cass murmured, turning her head to run her nose against Steph's neck. It was a simple gesture, a gentle nuzzle of affection before it was followed by lips pressed against her pulse. The warm familiar feeling beneath her lips and tongue. "Sweet? Don't tell anyone, I have a reputation."

[teambatgirl]

"He's probably got killer abs," Steph says and there's that familiar grin. She tips her head up to Cass's mouth and takes a long slow breath. "Want people to think you're just the badass ninja girl who makes people train until they cry. I get it you don't want anyone to know about your gooey marshmallow center."

[kinesicist]

"But not the legs," Cass replied, a hint of amusement at the corner of her mouth as she took in that smile. Everything might not be okay but that smile promised it would. It was that smile that made Cass sure she had made the right choice. "And puke. You forgot puke."

Her lips smiled against Steph's, brushing a ghost of a kiss against her mouth before turning her head to kiss her jaw and neck. Her body sliding down Steph's as her hands drew up her chest and traced up over her ribs.

"Gooey marshmallow center, I think you have me confused with Dick. What gooey center?"

[teambatgirl]

"No, you're right, he doesn't have your shapely thighs. And how could I forget " she says and huffs a little laugh. Her hand rubs up and down the warm expanse of Cas's scarred, beautiful back and hums in pleasure. "The gooey center that looooves me, obviously. Besides, every Bat has a gooey marshmallow center."

[kinesicist]

"Steph... stop talking about Alfred's thighs when I am kissing you." Cass murmured against Steph's throat, her tongue darting out to swipe a lick against her salty skin. Smiling against her skin, Cass kissed down her throat yawning a little as she went. "Hn, I suppose I do love you. Yes."

Cass smiled as her hand slipped beneath Steph's top, tracing up her sides lightly. "Even Bruce?"

[teambatgirl]

"Hee." Steph giggles, actually giggles and something that's been tight and worried in her chest loosens. She feels more like herself, the person she wants to be instead of the tense, nervous girl she's been lately. Her hands slide up to push through Cass's hair and one falls to the back of her neck to trace a thumb against the soft warm skin there. "Wow, what a declaration of adoration, you've got me swooning."

Her leg hitches up against Cass's waist. "Oh, you mean Bruce 'I am the Night but I've got five kids that I secretly adore' Wayne? The one with more sidekicks than the rest of the league put together? He's the marshmallowiest."

[kinesicist]

Her lips smiled against her skin, thumb brushing down to the hem of Steph's shirt before she tugged it slowly up her body. Cass looked at Steph, pressing a kiss against her pulse before she kissed the swell of her breasts. Tongue swiping against her skin as her fingers slid up to trace slow, lazy circles. She would show Steph with everything how little she had to be worried, how it would be okay but show it without words.

"You're not listening to me," Cass said, flicking her tongue across her nipple. "I will show you adoration."

Cass smiled as Steph hitched her legs up before shaking her head, her exhaled breath unsteady as she nipped at Steph's skin gently. "Green Arrow, much more... squishy?"

[teambatgirl]

She raises her arms and wiggles appropriately so that the shirt is up and off to be tossed with the rest of the stuff on the floor. The skin to skin touch makes her sigh and palm along Cass's shoulderblade. Her body relaxes under Cass's hands; Steph hadn't realized how much tension she was carrying until it starts to ease.

"Alright," she says, her voice is a little husky as her back arches up to meet her mouth. "Show me adoration."

"Mmmm, still going to go with Bruce." Steph reaches down to squeeze Cass's ass, just because. It is a really pretty butt and she likes it. "Scary dark chocolate on the outside, ooey gooeyness on the inside."

[kinesicist]

Her lips smiled at the wiggle, glancing up and letting out a soft annoyed breath as her own hair fell into her eyes. Watching Steph quietly, she smiled against her skin and watched Steph toss the shirt onto the floor. Sighing at the press of bare skin beneath her, Cass traced her hands down her sides letting her lips follow the lines of Steph's body.

"I love you," Cass murmured, kissing Steph's breast before enclosing her mouth around her nipple. Cass leaned back into Steph's hands, smiling as she nipped and tugged at her skin.

[teambatgirl]

She pushed Cass's hair out of her eyes then touched her face very gently. Her chest is warm and sweet and that more than the heat between her legs makes her breath catch. Cass loves her and Steph can feel it in her touch and every place their skin meets just as much as she can hear it. Look at this wonderful thing she has now, look at how lucky she is to have a wonderful person in love with her. It makes her want to laugh or maybe cry or just stay like this forever.

"I love you too." Hands stroking along Cass's shoulder and then a pleased sigh at the attention to her nipple. Steph's back arches to offer herself up to her for more of that sweet pleasure-pain or whatever else Cass wants to do to her. "I love you so, so much. Cass..."