teambatgirl: (Default)
[personal profile] teambatgirl
Batgirl is standing on the edge of a rooftop and watching the ghostly populace of London hurrying through the cold winter evening. She's on her own tonight. Usually there's a game of tag with the other Batgirl between patrols or pestering Robin, but not tonight. Sometimes a vigilante has to do the lone wolf thing, even though she is normally all about the teamwork.

The rooftop's her favorite that's she's found so far with a perfect view of a busy intersection and a little bit out of the wind, even if there is a distinct lack of gargoyles to perch upon dramatically. Her costume" is not exactly built for frosty weather, but then neither were Dick or Jason's and they managed. At least she's got thick, long socks on and sensible combat boots, no pixie shoes here.

It's not like there's a lot of crime to be stopped, or much of any to be precise. Maybe there are phantom pickpockets, ghostly muggers and shadowy criminals and murders preying on the city, with an equally spooky Scotland Yard tracking them down, but none that the corporeal Batgirl can interact with or put a stop to. It's occurred to her to wonder just what she and the rest of the island people look like to the rest of the city. Maybe they're the ghostly ones, and she's Casper than friendly neighborhood hero up here to them.

She feels, more than hears or sees, when a person joins her on the roof. A prickle of alarm goosebumps on top of her 'it's December in London and really damn cold' goosebumps. Stephanie doesn't turn to the new arrival. There's only one person who sends that dread-excitement-awe mix twisting in her stomach.

Date: 2011-12-27 07:45 am (UTC)
crusaded: (Underwear of Power)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
The changes to my uniform are subtler than most that this island has seen. Whether it's due to there being a lack of a practical equivalent in this alternate version of Victorian London, or if the forces behind all of these shifts and changes have seen fit to grant me clemency, I can't be sure. I don't care to wonder, or treat it with anything other than the suspicion that I turn to most aspects of the island. By day and night alike, I've been watching over this city.

It's not mine. It's not Gotham. But the people here require the same type of protection, and so I set out every evening, collar raised up to protect against the bitter cold.

When I cross paths with Stephanie, it strikes me that this may be as good a chance as any to have a talk. Easy distractions to pull either of us away, if words exchanged grow too heated.

"Slow night," I remark, eyes narrowed as I step closer.

Date: 2011-12-30 10:34 am (UTC)
crusaded: (The Team Normal)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
I know it's just talk. The vehemence, at least. The restlessness is something that I cannot deny even in myself; when you remain wholly unconvinced that the world is, in fact, free of crime and strife, a peaceful night serves as very little relief, if not as the opposite entirely. The scenery may have changed, but functionally, this place is little different from the island itself, and no matter how firmly Jason may believe that he's managed to adapt and assimilate here, I have my doubts. This isn't the type of place any of us were made to settle.

Stephanie and Damian just happen to be the most vocal about how deeply they feel this fact.

"I'm more interested in seeing research conducted than in stopping a potential bank robbery," I tell her, plain and honest. "Our goal is to leave."

Date: 2012-01-02 05:38 am (UTC)
crusaded: (Jack of All Trades)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
There are other places to check, I want to say. Other signs to look for, things that won't take us beyond the borders of London, but instead deeper within it. Echoing halls of an asylum that we can check again, for the echoing voice that I've sometimes heard in that vicinity. But I say none of this. Because the flippancy that she uses, the quick way she tosses the mission aside— that falls short of the type of dedication I'm looking for. As much as it's hurt them, chasing after approval in ways beneficial to no one, the lack of that effort cuts quick as well.

Lets loose a cold temper that I've been biting back.

"No. You've found other ways to occupy yourself," I say, and in spite of the frustration, my voice remains calm.

Then again, maybe that's not enough.

Date: 2012-01-04 10:41 am (UTC)
crusaded: (Batman Can Breathe In Space)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
"You know exactly what I'm referring to."

In a way, it's my own confirmation. The fact that she stiffens, and the air of defense that I can already feel rising around her, that's enough to tell me that she knows. She may want me to spell it out, fuel the indignation that has her on edge already, so early in the conversation. But if she knows that the relationship with Cassandra is what I'm about to bring up, doesn't that say something?

Date: 2012-01-06 10:26 am (UTC)
crusaded: (Revenge)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
"I firmly believe that it's a mistake."

There's no need to mince words. There's no need to sugarcoat. I don't tone down the severity of my voice, because this is how I feel. If, in the process of trying to be outwardly kind, they come across the consequences, I will never forgive myself. And if I lie to them, try and explain that I'm fine with the matter, that I'm anything but mired in a shade of discomfort great enough that I can hardly look them in the eye while in uniform, that's its own brand of unforgivable.

I imagine Stephanie won't see it the same way.

"To build a romance within family is only asking for trouble. You are sisters. That is your strength, and the bond that you utilize in our line of work. With our mission. The moment the relationship turns romantic, you render that strength untenable."

A relationship is defined by how it starts. To change the dynamic and the shape, to try and render something strong into a more malleable position, it has consequences. Dick and Barbara didn't start out as family. Neither did Stephanie and Tim, when they first met. In both cases, the chemistry hit first, and a bond was forged on the basis of that.

This? This threatens to change their priorities. And in a way I can't accept.

Date: 2012-01-08 09:24 am (UTC)
crusaded: (Becoming the Mask)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
There's one simple answer that comes to mind. And if I have to, I'll be able to point to the others as examples, the times when they've placed the relationship before the mission, judgment altered and blurred. I could point to my own failures— failures that I don't plan to repeat.

"Because now you have an obligation to her that runs separate to the mission. And the more you let your heart turn in this direction, the more inclined you'll find yourself to place her before it, even if not by means of a conscious choice. You'll confuse her, as well."

Date: 2012-01-10 05:52 pm (UTC)
crusaded: (Byronic Hero)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
"And you're going to stand here and tell me that this changes nothing?" I ask, incredulity pushing through in the tone of my voice, arms crossing over my chest. I find it impossible to believe that this doesn't complicate matters. Being able to reconcile one's emotions with one's actions may seem easier in the moment, in a place like this one.

But we're not looking to live as civilians, are we?

"Or that you would compare this to how I engage with the others. With how our relationship has worked, no less."

Date: 2012-01-12 05:51 pm (UTC)
crusaded: (The Cowl)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
"That isn't what I meant."

I doubt that outlining my reasoning down to every last detail would help. If anyone tries to suggest that there is nothing different about romantic love, even to the most frigid or determined of people, then the simple fact is that they haven't experienced enough to know. Still retain a certain idealism that won't work in Gotham. Some places rely on that view of perfection in the distance, of being able to separate work from play and dive full into both. But Gotham only survives by its last thread because people brace themselves for the worst.

Every time I've tried to hope for something easier, where I can let myself relax, it never comes.

Staring at her for a second longer, I press on. "I've made my stance clear. You may think that your priorities aren't compromised, or that if they are, that it's in the same fashion as they would be for any partner or member of the family. But there is a reason why we don't classify them in the same manner, and there are expectations that will color everything you do with this person. Of course, at the end, the choice lies with either of you."

Date: 2012-01-14 09:04 pm (UTC)
crusaded: (Knight in Sour Armor)
From: [personal profile] crusaded
"I intend on speaking with her."

With an exhale, I meet her gaze. The whys, the reasons, they're important, but I'm not sure that I can make Stephanie understand, nor am I sure that the relentless pursuit of it would be good for her. Or for me, I suppose. And when she drops the topic, I know that she understands that fact as well as I do, and it reminds me of the reasons why I have sought her out, before Cassandra. She's able to carry the heavier emotional burdens, but more than that, she knows why they're there. Which ones to fight.

Stephanie may still be impetuous, but she is learned and an adult in her own right, more wholly than I would say that Cassandra is.

"But I thought you stood a better chance of understanding what I meant," I add, walking closer to the ledge, Grapnel gun in my hand. "I'll talk to you later."

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Stephanie Brown

October 2014

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